There once was an interim employee named Caveman, who had just landed a short-term gig . He was eager to impress his new boss, Bik, a no-nonsense, results-driven leader. Caveman, not the most tech-savvy guy, knew that the best way to shine in a company like this was by using cutting-edge tools and showing that he was a forward-thinker. So, one morning, while sipping his mediocre office coffee, an idea hit him like a bolt of lightning.
“I’ll use AI to generate the evaluations,” he thought. “That’ll definitely make me look like a genius!”
He quickly found an AI tool that promised to generate complex performance review in seconds. Caveman, thinking he’d bypass any pesky data analysis and give the system a vague instruction, typed:
“Generate a supervisor performance review.”
Seconds later, the AI chugged away and delivered a beautifully formatted PDF full of charts, graphs, and tables. There were colorful pie charts with cryptic labels, bar graphs with numbers that Caveman didn’t recognize, and a section that seemed to speak in riddles. It said things like, “The alpha-variance of the KPIs has seen a growth inflection around quadrant 3,” and “Maximize synergy to amplify core outputs.”
Caveman, overwhelmed and unsure about the meaning of any of it, decided he would just present the evaluation to Bik with a lot of enthusiasm.
“Bik,” he said, “I’ve been working on this detailed supervisor performance review, and I’m confident you’ll be impressed!”
He looked at him quizzically. “This is… very interesting, Caveman. Tell me, what insights did you gather from the performance review?”
Caveman smiled confidently. “Well, the synergy of the alpha-variance has really amplified the supervisor growth inflection. And, if we follow the quadrant strategy outlined in the second graph, we’ll maximize productivity.”
Bik raised an eyebrow. “Could you break that down for me in simpler terms? Like, what are you actually saying here?”
Caveman froze. He had no idea. “Uh, well, the AI… you know… it’s all in there. The data speaks for itself!”
Bik wasn’t convinced. “Caveman, I’m going to need you to go through the report and give me actual insights. What are the productivity and H&S numbers doing? How’s the ROI looking?”
Panicking, Caveman opened the evaluation and started to skim through the tables and graphs, but they were full of random percentages and terms like “integration acceleration.” He was lost. So, he did the only thing he could think of.
“Okay, so what I’m seeing is that… the ROI is… fluctuating? But the pie chart suggests it’s growing… in a way?”
Bik stared at him, blinking. He looked back at the report. “This doesn’t make any sense. Caveman, this is all just jargon. The numbers aren’t even clear.”
In a last-ditch effort, Caveman tried to explain what “maximizing synergy” meant. “You know, it’s like… if we work together really well and align our efforts, we can make the results even bigger. Like a team working towards one common goal!”
Bik sighed deeply. “Caveman, that’s… that’s not how performance reviews work. You can’t just use AI to throw together some fancy words and expect it to make sense. How about next time, we focus on real data and actionable insights?”
Caveman sheepishly agreed and, in the end, learned a valuable lesson. AI is great for generating reports, but understanding them? Well, that’s still his job. Allllllllll of it and Eeeeeeverything is his job.
Griniaris.com 
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